Two Empires, Thirteen Colonies
by PkMnTrainerKota
Summary: In an alternate, more successful, Irken Empire, Zim and Tak have been sent to the same planet on the edge of the galaxy. It's called Earth, and it's in the middle of the American Revolution.
1. Two Invaders, One Planet

Not a single voice could be heard as the Almighty Tallest Red and Purple addressed the Elite forces of the Irken Empire. The sea of green and magenta was intently focused on the much taller pair and the small group of Irken Invaders who stood below a map of the Milky Way Galaxy. Here, on Conventia they would initiate their plan for the subjugation of the Galaxy.

"Welcome mighty Irken soldiers! You are the finest examples of military training the Irken Army has to offer!", called the Tallest Red in a tone of grandeur," Good for you.", he added, this time in a sarcastic mocking voice," Standing behind us however, are the Irkens we have chosen for role of some of the most crucial parts of Operation Impending Doom Two!" he finished as the elites cheered them on.

"You in the audience just get to sit and watch," added Purple, to drive the fact that they had failed to become Invaders even after analyzing Operation Impending Doom One"s success in conquering the worlds surrounding Irk, including Vort, Blorch, and Meekrob,"You should have tried harder," he added.

"These superior ones,"started Red.

"Not quite as superior as us of course." interrupted Purple.

"Duh," agreed Red," These not quite as superior, but still quite superior soldiers will each be assigned to an ENEMY PLANET!" finished Red, suddenly yelling.

Purple had already begun briefing the Invaders, noted screwup Zim and Veteran Invader Tak among them,"There, you will blend in with its disgusting native inhabitants!"

"All while acquiring crucial information, analyzing the planet's weaknesses and making it vulnerable to our big...spaceship...gang!" finished Red.

"The Armada?" corrected Purple,"Now, LET THE ASSIGNING BEGIN!" he finished.

From there the assigning continued without incident until they reached Invader Tak.

"Um...Tak stand behind me. We have a um _special_ mission for you. Alright, Invader Tenn!" from their they continued until they reached Invader Zim.

"Invader Zim! Since you have a horrible track record as a Irken you will be assigned to the farthest planet from Irk that shall be included in this mission." stated Red.

"Yes, give Zim his mission. Soon it will be added to the Empire!" muttered Zim.

"You have been assigned to Planet, err let me see." he reached out of his pocket and retrieved a napkin with a drawing of the planet," Earth."

"Yes, the 'Earthoids' will soon be ours. The need for conquest is deep within my squeedlyspooch! I must have nachos!" replies Zim, motioning toward the snack bar.

"Not so fast, mooch. Furthermore, given your failure in Operation Impending Doom One."

"Failure? Glef is no more! Worship my excellence!" interrupted Zim.

"Actually, that's the problem. We wanted to CONQUER it, not destroy it."

"Um, my bad." finished Zim.

"Anyway, given your failures in Operation Impending Doom One, we have decided to send you with on your assignment one of our best operatives, Invader TAK!

"What! No my Tallest, no! You can not be serious. I do not want to babysit this fool! He caused two blackouts!" objected Tak, not wanting to go half way across the galaxy with that failure.

"ZIM, a fool! No it is you who is a fool! Zim is one of the greatest Irkens and a future Tallest! answered Zim," I do not need some female to steal my glory!" he added.

"Zim, Tak, silence! Now help yourself to some Nachos and we'll see you in the equipment hall." cried Red.

"Yes, gorge yourselves you MOOCHES!" finished Purple, emphasizing the final word.

.

Later, the Irken Invaders congregated in the Conventia Equipment Hall, a high-tech rookery of Irken Voot Cruisers and S.I.R units. The Tallest Red and Purple began the briefing.

"Today you will each be supplied with one of these! A Standard Issue Information Retrieval unit," Purple said, gesturing to the line of robots behind him. He popped out a single robot and deployed it. It's eyes glowed red and it saluted and addressed the Irken Leader.

"Yes Master, I obey," called the machine, soulless, but obedient. Purple lifted up the machine.

"Alright, who wants this one!" he called.

"I do!" called Invader Alexovich, who was in the back of the group. Purple threw the robot to him and, much to the Tallest's delight, it knocked him to the ground.

"Everyone else, line up and take a robot.

Zim immediately got in line.

"Finally, a mindless slave to call my own!"

"Um, Zim, we have a _special _model for you," the Almighty Tallest had no intention to give Zim advanced Irken technology, no that would go to Invader Tak," This is your robot, Zim!" they said, handing him a unit cobbled from junk parts.

"Err, it looks kinda, um, not good." replied Zim, seeing the piece of junk.

"That's exactly what the enemy will think!"

"Oh, I see, BRILLIANT! I am honored to be entrusted with such advanced technology. It even fooled me!" said Zim, obliviously.

Suddenly, the robot's eye lit up red and it saluted Zim and spoke.

"G.I.R, reporting for duty."

"What does the 'G' stand for?"asked Zim.

Its eyes turned blue, its body loosened, and a dopey smile spread across his face.

"I doooooooooon't know." he squeaked, sounding like a small child.

"Is it supposed to be stupid?"

"It's not stupid, it's advanced!" replied Tallest Purple, barely containing his laughter.

After supplying the Invaders with equipment, the Tallest pulled Tak to the side and handed her a small cellphone-like device.

"We realize that working with Zim is not ideal, but this should help matters." said Tallest Purple, showing an unusual bit of empathy.

"This device is linked to Zim's PAK and his robot," he said pointing to the two, who were currently calculating a trajectory to Earth," It will temporarily disable them. Use it only as a last resort. Zim can get very destructive."

"Good luck Invader Tak, may the will of the Empire be with you!" they said together.

**[End of Chapter. This is the first chapter in what I hope will be my best fan fiction yet! As you can tell I have changed Irken History a little, but the end result will (hopefully) be worth it! Thank you for reading and as always, THOU MUST REVIEW, WITHER IT TIS FINE OR HORRENDOUS! PkNm Trainer Kota, out!] **


	2. Pre-Industrial

Reluctantly, the two Irkens prepared for their long voyage across the Milky Way Galaxy. Much to Zim frustration, he provoked his unstable robot into singing what he called "the doom song", which consisted of repeating doom to a point of annoyance. On the other side of the com link Tak was irritated.

"Silence your servant Zim, or I shall end you!" she screamed, pointing to star FIC-056 as a kind of threat. Zim shut of his com link, but not before giving a very rude Irken gesture which she attempted to ignore. The course they had plotted would take quite some time, but she activated her hibernation pod and the auto-pilot. Zim didn't know this, as he hadn't uploaded Irken Flight Control Manual 4.7.9 into his P.A.K. So he spent the duration of his flight listening to GIR sing.

**SIX EARTH MONTHS LATER...**

Zim found himself staring blankly in front of him while listening to GIR sing. He should just end that robot's existence. He reached his hands up ready to pull the pl...

"Zim, we have a visual on the planet. It appears to have a oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere, indicating life,but I don't see any lights. Zim! What are you doing?" she squeaked, looking up to see Zim choking his robot.

"Nothing!" he screamed, returning to his screen, "Bioscan, initiated," He said. The Earth on his screen lit up like its star," Intelligent Life Detected, upgraded to class 5 , continuing scan."

"Wow, a Class 5 Planet, possibly a Class 6 or 7!" she said, referring to the Irken Civilization Scale, on which Irk is transitioning from Class 9 to 10, or from Interstellar to Intergalactic."

The computer continued to scan. The Light faded and red dots show up over seemingly random intervals of the Earth's surface. Samples of Arabic Script and Chinese Characters as well as the Latin and Cyrillic alphabets. A on screen number climbed up to around 7 billion.

"Widespread intelligent life detected, upgraded to class 6, continuing scan. Civilization detected, upgraded to Class 6, subclass 2. Firearms detected, upgraded to subclass 3. Mass production not detected, Class 6: Widespread Intelligent Life, subclass 3: Preindustrial planet confirmed.

Tak cursed with obscure regional Irken slang and briefed Zim, who had no idea what the screen meant.

"This mission shall be easier, or possible harder than we thought, this planet hasn't yet had an industrial revolution. We need to be low-tech and remember that they probably aren't what we would think of as secular on this Irk-forsaken dust ball some of them call Earth."

"Now searching for suitable landing spot," informed the computer,"Landing Zone confirmed, Boston, Massachusetts Bay Colony, the British Empire. Language Detected : English. Uploading."

In a matter of seconds the two Irkens could speak fluent English, Zim choose a colonist accent, but Tak's accent was a purer form, British English. As the ship prepared to land it uploaded three thousand years of human civilization into their head, as was the standard. Zim, with typical Irken arrogance, quickly dismissed the humans as a threat. Tak had similar thoughts, but wanted to run a civilization progression simulation before she jumped to any conclusions.

They watched as the continent of North America became larger as they hurtled towards. Eventually, they could make out the lights of candles and lantern in the cities that dotted the thirteen American Colonies, but little did they know, two lanterns that were being lit in an old Bostonian church could shape the mission, this planet, and the Irken Empire itself.


	3. The Shot Heard 'Round the Dirt Ball

Luckily, the Earthlings thought the descending Irken Voot Cruiser was a meteor. William Crane knew better. It was going far too straight. It had to have something intelligent steering. It just had to.

Unfortunately, his uncle disagreed.

"Printing to be done. More tension with Britain. Can't have my apprentice off looking for demons, besides heard old General Gage shan't be lettin any one out of the city tonight."

He was right of course, and Will knew it. Boston was a prison, with lobster-backed Brits with Gaelic accents working as guards. Despite this, Will tried to stay neutral, remembering he was British. Still, he found the thing whole thing dreadfully interesting, and it was one of few things he could talk about without sounding crazy.

After printing another story about soldiers fighting rioting colonials, he decided to spend the night searching the Bible for more clues about demons.

While he studied, Zim and Tak emerged from the crashed Voot Cruiser, followed by GIR and SIR.

"First we must disguise ourselves as disgusting humans to conquer this ball of filth." yelled Zim, planting a giant Irken flag into the New England soil.

"Put that away you idiot," she hissed," Pick a disguise."

Zim scrolled though the list. He finally choose a simply colonial coat, hat, and wig, along with some fake pupils. Despite his paper-thin choice, Tak ignored it and donned her own.

She wore an elaborate dress as well as fake human skin. Nothing would give her away, except maybe Zim.

"On Earth, people travel on horses or in carriages they draw" Tak said.

"Pathetic," murmured Zim, pulling at his collar.

"Certainly, but we must fit in."

She drew a crude carriage onto the draw board of the ship, and it morphed into a green and magenta carriage complete with mechanical horses.

"I'll drive," Zim started, "These humans still have gender roles."

Zim began driving, and the carriage zig-sagged down the road.

"Won't don't we just conquer these humans outright, it would be easy." Zim mused, glancing at his globe hologram greedily, quickly naming Australia after himself.

"Zim, are you familiarly with 6:3 protocol?"

"Um.. yes, but just to make sure you can comprehend the greatness of Zim's understanding, you should say it aloud.

"The reason for not conquering Earth is threefold. One, we extremely outnumbered, and resupplying would be difficult. Two, we need to learn how this planet will be useful, and its fate is ultimately up to our Almighty Tallest.. Three, we have neither the means nor the methods to control this planet with only two Irkens."

"Fine, subtle manipulation it is. What pathetic human settlement should we start with?" Zim asked.

"SIR, have you collected aerial maps and compared them with the historical record." Take asked her robot.

"Certainly, ma'am. The nearest human settlement is the town of Concord."

"SIR detect the closest city of global political significance." Tak said.

"Boston, capital of Massachusetts Bay Colony and one of the busiest ports on Earth, until recently."

"SIR elaborate."

"Tensions between the British Government and the American colonies, particularly Massachusetts, have been increasing since the Seven Years' War left Britain with a sizable war debt.

The subsequent tax hikes in the colonies have led to heavy protest, mostly on matters of principle, which culminated in the destruction of British tea in Boston Harbor in 1773 A.D in protest of a monopoly granted to the East India Company by way of a tax break which rendered colonial merchant unable to compete.

In response, Boston is under marital law by the British, and the Harbor has been blockaded. This has led to further protest and further growth of an American national identity."

"Zim, input."

"I think we should should stop in the Concord place for the night, and proceed to the Boston town in the morning."

"Fine," Tak replied, "Computer Chart course to Concord."

"Course charted, two miles, English Units. Warning! Human armed forces detected. British Soldiers identified. American Minutemen detected."

"Do the humans know we're here?" Zim asked.

"No, those would probably be the British in Boston and the local militias. Nothing to worry about." she said.  
>"Yaah!" Zim screamed, sending the carriage on its way.<p>

A few miles away Lexington militia lined up to stop the incoming British soldiers from continuing. One the militia leaders gave his men an order.

"Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have war, let it begin here."

The British soldiers lined up in rows, prepared to fire on the sleepy soldiers. They had similar orders, but after a few minutes one of the most important bullets in history flew out of a musket.

"Fire!" called out one of the colonists. The American War of Independence had begun. A while later, five colonists were dead and the militiamen were retreating from the British Army. A rider clomped along the path and shout awake the people of Concord, just as the brightly colored Irken carriage pulled up at a pub.

"The British are coming, the regulars are on the move! Alert the militiamen!" cried the rider.

"Pathetic human," said Zim, laughing at his fright, "Soon you shall know real terror! Mawahahahahahah!"

"Sometin wrong with yer husband?" asked the innkeeper, glancing at Zim's laugh.

"Insolent fool! You will soon learn the meaning of Irk-zah!" he crumbled to the ground and Tak slipped the control back into her pocket.

"He's quite drunk," Tak lied, "and he's my cousin. He needs a room to sleep it off."

"Say yuv got yerself a English accent, don't have time fer Tories." he said, studying her.

"Um, yes, my father is Virginian, and my mother was English, God rest her soul. Father is off at the frontier, so I've come to live with my cousin Z-Zacharias and his family in Massachusetts Bay Colony, but trust me I'm no Tory." Tak continued.

"Well then, I'll fix you up a room, provided you have the coin."

"Of course. SIR!" she looked to see her robot in standby and sighed, "GIR pay this gentlemen his fee."

"OOOOOOOOH KAY!" he said, and squealed. A stack of pounds plopped into his hands.

"Lass, this far more than I-"

"Consider it a gift," she glanced at the Americans assembling, "Something tells me you'll need it," she added.

In the room, Zim finally came to his senses.

"DIE, SCUM!" he screamed, doing a painful roll to the ground.

"ZIM! DO NOT TELL ANY HUMANS WE ARE IRKEN!" she screamed, trying to scare him in line.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Zim said enthusiastically, for violence was his language.

"I'm going to run a civilization progress chart and decide the best possible route for our mission, but I want you to investigate the human conflict outside," she glanced at her tablet, "The Militia and the British army should meet at Concord bridge in an hour."

"Come GIR! We have espionage."

"Dooh-dooh-dooh-dooh-dooooh-dah-dooh-dooh-dooh-dooh-dooooh-dah-daah-daah-daaaah!" GIR hummed and they left the room.

Tak loaded the new Earth database.

"Okay, lets see what we have here." and she saw our future.

**[END OF CHAPTER. Remember to review. Thank You to those who have already reviewed. Hopefully, I've plugged the plot holes. Sorry about not doing much much with the new character. Also reviews can help me figure out this story's particulars and point out more plot holes to plug. Thank you all, Pokemon Trainer Kota, out.]**

**P.S Just like to point out that while the humans aren't quite too dumb to live, they are still pretty oblivious. **


	4. Mission Statement

Having some sense to him, Zim pretended to be a reporter and questioned the militiamen.

"Why are you engaging in armed rebellion against the Empire?" he asked, seeing no reason as a loyal Imperial himself, albeit on a different scale.

"Ya see, when my ancestors came 'cross the Atlantic they were comin' for freedom from the mess of war 'n' poverty called England cus' they won't to live their lives worshiping God in peace on their land 'out the government bothering them. Now those Brits wanna take that away and rob us and feed us to the savages."

"Rob? You pay less than half the taxes of an Englishman."

"An Englishman is represented in Parliament. We ain't. A man's got a right to self-government."

"I understand," Zim lied, for he didn't understand at all and he gave an involuntary shudder of disgust. Really, it wasn't Irken of him to resist laughing in his face.

The captain glanced at Irken scribbles Zim had written on his parchment.

"What's that?"

"Irken, the greatest language!" He shouted, "DEUSTCH! GERMAN!" he screamed, covering up his mistake.

"Uhh, sure. Well I wish you the best of luck with yer story. I've gotta prepare my men."

While this was happening, Tak sat at her computer. It showed a large scale map using standard Imperial Irken Projection techniques. She really couldn't figure out much more about Earth, but she wasn't ready to stop trying.

Giant parts of the map were unlabeled, mainly in America and Oceania. She had giant holes in her understanding of the place, and it frustrated her to no end. Finally, Zim's report came in, she closed the Computer, for she had decided what to do. They needed to stop the American Revolution.

**[End of Chapter. A bit short, but I had to rewrite because it was junk. Fear not! For a longer chapter, maybe even a double post is due next weekend, since I don't have Marching Band this week.**

**Remember to; favorite, follow, review, share, and check out my other stories, especially if you like Pokemon or Command & Conquer for the last one.**

**Also I send a thank you to Headcheez for correcting my use of the non-existent British Imperial System in Chapter 3. It has been fixed.]**

**P.S If any one wants to help, draw a picture of Zim dressed as a Continental Soldier for the cover art. **


	5. War Stories

"Boston, Massachusetts, course charted. Approximately 30 miles, English Units." called the computer as they prepared for the trip. The town of Concord was extremely tense, so Tak was happier observing the Massachusetts countryside. She really liked Earth's wildlife. It reminded her of the Irk of the distance past, the Irk of her ancestors. She was a bit of an environmentalist, so she always found ways to save the life of Irken Conquests. She was especially proud of her part in the establishment of the planet Safaria.

Zim hated wildlife. He always enjoyed the fear on an animal face as Irken ships wiped it away. Yes, he could see it now. Irken forces rounding up humans in enslaving and coating Earth in a thick metal layer. He could destroy this entire planet and its delusions of grandeur. Yet, he occasionally thought about what the old militia men had said. It reflected some of his secret criticisms of the Empire.

He was interrupted from his musings by a group of militiamen.

"Tell us your business, stranger. Massachusetts Bay shan't be weakened by Tories in our midst." said the young man, pointing a hunting rifle at Zim's face. Tak knew her British accents would just make things worse, so she silently hoped Zim wouldn't get himself shot.

"I am um from, er Philadelphia. I'm visiting Boston to err do some research."

"Spyin fer the Brits I spose." said his rougher friend.

"No sir, before I join the army for this war that's begun I want to see one of the places I'm fighting for." he said, in a stroke of brilliance.

The older militiamen saluted him.

"Maybe we'll meet again. God speed my friend." he said.

The next day, the Windmill Point Inn across from the print shop William Crane lived in was a buzz with excitement over the new tenants, most specifically, Zacharia's horrible skin discoloration. Ever interested in the strange, he rushed over to see the oddity.

Zacharia was a short teenager with a squeaky voice. He didn't have a pint, which was odd in the rowdy pubs. He instead swigged from a magenta flask, branded with a black insignia. He was telling stories of wars that never happened. Will could tell. He stopped every few seconds to make up more.

Of course, Crane didn't know the whole story. In reality, Zim was figuring out how to make his Imperial exploits acceptable to the human ear. Usually replacing "Irken" with "British" and "Vort" with "Indian".

As an egomaniac, Zim enjoyed being the center of attention. So he told stories while Tak napped.

Will observed him closely. He heard the the flaw in pronunciation. He also heard his odd sentence structure and reference to himself in the third person, which was had been out of style since books like John Smith's _A General History of Virginia_. Mostly, he noticed his odd arrogance, despite being a colonial. He decided to prod him further.

"Zacharia!" he said. Zim did not move for a moment. This showed Will exactly what he wanted to know."

"What doth thou want?" he said, in a slightly archaic way.

"What do you think of yesterday's battles in Lexington and Concord?"

"I think it is the start of something dangerous." Zim responded truthfully," Refer to me as Zim, for 'tis my nickname."

"Anyone that looks at our minutemen as an irregular mob will find themselves much mistaken. We are prepared to go through with it, this clash of resounding arms." said the bartender. It was no Green Dragon Tavern, but it was full of patriots.

"Real question is, did they catch Adams and Hancock." said a school teacher.

"Thems the most dangerous men in America to Gage and his cronies." agreed another.

Not knowing his mission, the men had accidentally set Irken Imperial cross hairs on the two Bostonians.

"Zacharias, you was in Conc'rd yesterdey." said the second man, " How the town getting along?"

"Nary a building left. Damned lobsterbacks burnt down half the town. Zim saw it myself." he replied.

"That settles it for me," proclaimed a one of the men." I leaving Boston soon as I can. There is a storm comin. I hope this is resolved peacefully, but Massachusetts is under a bloody tyranny"

Will was terribly excited. He had found a demon or spaceman. To top it off, even boring old Boston was about to become interesting.

**[End of Chapter, feeling pretty good about things. Though I do need to ask something. Should I stay in Boston and wait for the Americans to capture it, or should I move to Philadelphia? Maybe I should send GIR to the second continental Congress. YES IT'S BRILLIANT GOD BLESS AMERICA!]**

**P.S Windmill Point is an actual part of Boston. Also, the Green Dragon Tavern is real. A lot of the talk of the bar attendents was transposed from historical sources.**

**Review, Share, and Learn. Also check out TV Tropes, the best website in exsistence.**


	6. Congress OF DOOM

In the May of 1775, two tiny agents of espionage pounced into Philadelphia. One was a strange green dog and, the other was a sleek black cat. The had red eyes and watched the city intently. Of course, the city was still reeling from the shots at Lexington and Concord and didn't.

"Ohh! Pretty building! Gonna go inside, GIR gonna go inside. WEEE!" he shouted, pointing to the State House.

"Defective is correct," beeped the functioning SIR unit, "Building is currently hosting the Second Continental Congress. Units will observe human political body."

The two sneaked through the central hall and hid in the assembly room. A large number of delegates were already working on something. A man held up a document for the congress.

"We should refer to the place as Canada, as that is what it is commonly called."  
>"All in favor?" A deal of them raised their hands.<p>

"Opposed?"

"The motion passes."

"A make a motion to have this letter translated into the French language and dispersed among the inhabitants." called another delegate.

"Who shall be on the committee?" called a Rhode Island delegate.

"I shall be honored." said a man. It was Thomas Mifflin, of Pennsylvania.

"I shall as well." called John Dickinson.

"Do we have a second?"

"Seconded."

"All in favor?"

"All opposed?"

"The motion passes."

John Hancock, the President of the Congress, yawned,"Motion to adjourn?"

"Seconded." called the only delegate present from Georgia.

"All in favor?"

"Opposed?"

"Adjourned, the Congress shall reconvene tomorrow, eight-thirty, here, at the Pennsylvania State House."

After the delegates finally cleared out, GIR's eyes turned red and he scanned the document, entitled, "Letter to the Inhabitants of Canada".

"Irken Communications satellite functioning. Mailing relevant documentation." he slouched as his eyes turned blue.

"Yay! Earth is doomed! I'm go pet some piggies." he squeled.

"Defective jeopardizing mission. Get back here!" he cried chasing GIR down the Pennsylvania streets.

**[More than anything, this is a set up chapter, but I hope it was enjoyable. In case you are curious, this event was the drafting of the Letter to Inhabitants of Canada, an appeal to the people of the aforementioned captured French territory. Man, the Continentals sent appeals to everyone. Jamaica, Ireland, Britain. Groovy stuff. I got most of my info from the Avalon project from Yale. Review please.]**


	7. Breed's Hill

Zim was board. Tak was forcing him to do research on the planet. The Irken scanners gave general information, but Tak wanted details. He tripped through this thick King James Version of the Bible. He found the entire book confusing. Still, he had reached the Gospel according to John.

"He resurrected people? NONSENSE! I must agree with this Rome they speak of. Beside, they revealed the Judas Iscariot plot twist too quickly." he closed it and decided to go for a walk.

It was early morning. Boston was silent. Only one other stood on the street. William Crane watched the figure head north to Boston harbor. Will slipped through the streets and hid near Zim. Unfortunately, Zim spotted him quickly.

"Why are you following me Earth-stink? TELL ZIM!"

"I-"

"TELL ME!"

" I susp-"

"TELL ME!"

"I susp-"

"TELL ME!"

"By Jove, I'm trying to!"

"TELL ME!"

Suddenly, a cannon sounded in the distance.

"You're going to mess with the revolution! You are a beast from another world."

"Huh? Umm...YES! BOW DOWN!" Zim dashed off.

Tak was also awakened a little later. She found Zim on the roof of the inn tinkering with a laser.

"Zim! What are you doing!"

"The humans know too much, I am going to destroy the Americans at Bunker, err I mean Breed's Hill."

"YOU INSOLENT FOOL! IF MIMI WERE STEAL HERE I WOULD FRY YOU!"

"Relax." he said, leaning onto the weapon. It tilted up at the last second.

"NOOOO! My brilliant plan fooled. It would have worked." Tak relaxed.

"You would have destroyed the Colony. Now come on. We must watch the battle at Bunker, I mean Breed's Hill."

There they watched the horrible victory.

"Hah. Another victory like that and our mission will fail." said Tak.

"Yes, the rebels would probably sell more ground at the same price.'

**END. Hopefully, that was a welcome addition. I am giving in to zany antics. I am also writing another IZ Fanfic. I am writing it in my notebook, so I will post it all at once. It will be called, "The First Invader". It is about the first days of the Irken Empire, Non-contradictory Fanon.**


	8. Washington in Boston WITH LASERS!

Shortly after the Battle of Bunker... err I mean Breed's hill, a new leader entered the camp of the patriots riding a tall white horse. This was the many who had kicked off the French and Indian Wars, this was the man who would lead the continentals. It General George Washington.

In Boston, Tak heard news that the commander of the continentals had arrived. She was really glad for this, as she could figure out how to eliminate him. This was a matter Zim was really interested in.

Of course, she knew he was coming, because the robots sent word from Philadelphia. With the Militia surrounding Boston, this was a blessing. She also knew that Benedict Arnold and Ethan Allen had captured Fort Ticonderoga or Fort Ti, as the locals called it. Hopefully, its artillery would reman where it was.

William was not nearly as excited. He wanted to leave. He was now a whole-hearted patriot, and didn't want to live in the occupied city. He was conflicted though. He knew the tenants across the road were up to something. Luckily, the printer made the decision for him.

"S'long as I can afford for food fer us, we're stayin in Boston." he proclaimed, despite being a patriot as well. He was right about food. Little came in from Nova Scotia, so everything was expensive. Will's stomach ached, so he decided to take his mind off of things by furthering the investigation. He slipped across the street into the tavern.

Luckily for him, Zim had just came down. He had a laser tucked into his jacket.

"Where are you going?" Will asked, confronting him as he tried to leave.

"Zim is just um seeing the American base."

"Fine then, enjoy yourself. Be careful the Patriots and British have been skirmishing all summer." he said as he sat down, fully intending to follow him at a discreet distance.

True to his word, Zim did look at the rebel base, through a telescope on top of a church steeple. He pulled out his laser. In his other pocket, he pulled out a tiny chip. It contained a DNA scan of General George Washington, courtesy of the robots. It quickly locked onto the man, he was sleeping in his office, resting from his journey. Later that night, he had a meeting with a Henry Knox, to talk of moving the cannons there into Boston. Zim wanted him dead.

Target locked, George Washington, confirm?" squeaked his computer.

As for Will, all he could make out was Zim pointing a gun at someone on the ground. He raced up through the church, knocking down a couple of worshipers, and tromped up the stairs.

Zim heard him.

"5 seconds to fire."

"4"

Will pushed it out of his hands and it fell from the steeple, shattered by the force of impact, with a horse stomping it to add insult.

"Fool! You Will Be KILLED IN A MOST UNPLEASANT MANNER!" he screamed and kicked him in the legs before running to the stairs. He tripped and hit every step down.

When he got back, Tak was insufferable.

"You let a human destroy a piece of our equipment! FOOL! I will have the boy and Washington eliminated. Go spend some time with the training holograms and read the updates from the units."


End file.
